If you’re caring for someone you love, you may be used to putting other people first.

You might find it hard to say no. You may feel exhausted, yet still keep going. Doing things for the person you care for instead of taking a break yourself.

Caring can be deeply meaningful. It can also be a role that takes a lot out of you. Over time, this can gradually wear you down.

For unpaid carers, boundaries often weaken without you even noticing. Caring can slowly expand until it fills every gap. Taking up your emotional space. Taking over your evenings, weekends, and time that once felt like your own.

This is the first in a short series of blog posts for unpaid carers, each focusing on one small but important aspect of boundaries.

Boundaries are not selfish.

You may feel that putting boundaries in place is self-indulgent. But they help protect your energy, wellbeing and ability to care.

Boundaries aren’t about withdrawing care. They’re the limits that allow you to continue caring without causing you any harm.

When your needs are ignored for too long, exhaustion and resentment can creep in — even when you really care about the person you’re caring for.

Signs your boundaries may need attention

• Feeling constantly exhausted or on edge
• Struggling to say no
• Feeling resentful or guilty
• Feeling as though your life isn’t your own

You might start by asking: What feels unsustainable right now? What small change would help protect my energy?

Remember - you are allowed to care — and to be cared for.

If you found this blog helpful, I’ve created a short printable reminder that brings together the key ideas from the series. You can download and print it, and use it as a gentle daily or weekly prompt to take care of yourself.