This blog is for you: the carer who may feel exhausted, overwhelmed, over-stretched or forgotten.
In the spirit of National Wellness Month, let’s explore why your wellness matters and share some practical, achievable self-care tips to help you feel supported and strengthened—without adding to your already full plate.
August is National Wellness Month, which is a perfect opportunity to chat about how we can help carers who support people who need assistance due to illness, frailty, disability, mental health issues or addiction. These carers often do this without formal training, financial compensation or recognition.
Parents and partners, siblings and spouses, children and friends often step into the role of carer out of love and necessity. But while their compassion fuels their care, too often carers put their own health and wellness on the back burner.
The demands of caring can be physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing. That’s why it’s essential to pause and ask: Who’s caring for the carer?
The Invisible Load of Caring
As opposed to care workers, carers are often juggling multiple responsibilities: caring for a loved one, holding down a job, managing a household and, for those of the 'sandwich generation', raising children. And somewhere in the mix are their own needs.
Their invisible workload can lead to:
- chronic stress
- sleep deprivation
- social isolation
- poor nutrition
- neglected personal medical care
- emotional burnout
And it’s not uncommon for carers to ignore their own needs.
Signs that you might be neglecting your wellness
Sometimes we don’t even realise how much we’re putting ourselves last.
Do you find yourself thinking, “I’ll rest when they’re okay”? Or “They need me more than I need anything right now”? It might sound like something of a cliche, but the truth is: you can’t pour from an empty cup.
If you’re experiencing any of the following, you’re not alone, but it's time for a rethink.
- Feeling constantly tired, even after you've slept.
- Irritability or emotional outbursts.
- Forgetfulness or difficulty concentrating.
- Experiencing physical symptoms like headaches, back pain, or frequent illness.
- Feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or resentful.
- Losing interest in hobbies or social connections.
It’s never too late to start caring for yourself.
Prioritising your own wellbeing and wellness doesn’t mean that you're being selfish and neglecting your loved one. It actually means that you're investing in yourself, ensuring you have the strength and resilience to continue caring in a sustainable way.
Practical self-care tips for carers
I know you’re busy, so these tips are designed to be simple, realistic, and doable, even in short bursts. Wellness isn’t all-or-nothing; small changes can make a big impact.
1. Create 'micro-moments' of calm
You don’t need a spa day to recharge (as much as you might dream of it). Even a few minutes can help reset your nervous system.
- Practice deep breathing. Try the 4-7-8 method (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8). Just a few cycles can lower stress levels.
- Use grounding techniques. Focus on your senses: what can you see, touch, smell, hear, and taste right now? It helps you stay present.
- Mini meditations. Apps like Calm or Insight Timer offer free, 5-minute guided meditations perfect for in-between moments.
2. Set gentle boundaries
Finding ways to say no - politely - can be hard, especially if you’re afraid of disappointing someone or are worried they will hold your answer against you. But keep in mind that saying “no” doesn’t make you selfish. It means that you are prioritising, protecting your time to achieve what’s important, and maintaining healthy relationships.
- Say no to tasks or requests that aren’t urgent.
- Create a 'quiet time'. Maybe set a 10-15 minute window each day when you’re unavailable to anyone else.
- Let go of the pressure to 'do it all'. Ask yourself: What really needs my time and attention today? What can wait or be delegated?
3. Stay connected
Social isolation is common among carers. We can all remember the impact of lockdown. Staying connected (even in small ways) is vital for emotional health.
- Schedule a regular phone call with someone who lifts your spirits.
- Find a minute to simply message a friend just to say "hi".
- Join a carer support group (online or in-person). Talking to others who get it can be deeply validating.
4. Move your body (gently!)
Movement helps relieve stress and boost energy, even in small doses. But exercise doesn’t have to mean spending hours at the gym.
- Stretch while waiting for the kettle to boil.
- Dance to your favourite song in the kitchen while cooking dinner.
- Take a short walk around the block or garden. Getting outside is a real mood booster!
- Try chair yoga or online movement videos designed for caregivers.
5. Eat nourishing foods
When life gets hectic, paying attention to nutrition can fall by the wayside. But what you eat directly impacts your energy levels as well as your mood.
- Keep healthy snacks (like fruit, nuts, or granola bars) to hand so they're easy to grab.
- Don’t skip meals. Try setting reminders if needed.
- Batch-cook when you can, and freeze leftovers for busy days.
- Keep hydrated. Drink water regularly (you can add slices of lemon or cucumber to plain water if it feels too boring).
6. Prioritise rest (not just sleep)
If the health condition of your loved one means that you can’t get 8 hours of sleep, aim to take an intentional rest. Schedule a quiet moment where you unplug and recharge.
- Close your eyes for a 10-minute lie-down.
- If it is hard to 'shut off', listen to calming music or nature sounds.
- Use a weighted blanket or eye mask to help relax your body.
7. You deserve support too
You’re not meant to do this alone. It’s okay to ask for help. In fact, it’s essential.
- Involve others. Can a friend run an errand or bring over a meal?
- Speak with your GP. If you’re struggling with your own health, don’t delay getting care.
- Look into local services. Find out what is available in your local area. Many community organizations offer help to carers. such as transport, support groups, meal delivery, or home visits.
- Explore respite care. Even a few hours of support can give you a much-needed break.
- Give yourself permission to feel
Carers often feel a mix of frustration, fatigue, guilt, grief, resentment, and love. All these, and other emotions, are valid.
- Practice self-compassion: You’re doing your best with what you have.
- Journaling can help you process your thoughts, as can talking to a friend.
- When emotions feel heavy, see a counsellor (like Caring Counselling Worthing).
A Self-Care Plan Just for You
Here’s a quick, customisable daily check-in you can use:
Today, I will:
- Drink enough water
- Eat at least one nourishing meal
- Move my body in a way that feels good
- Do one thing just for me
- Connect with someone I care about
- Take a few moments to breathe and be still
Print it out. Put it on the fridge. Use it as a gentle reminder that your needs matter.
Celebrating you this National Wellness Month
To all the carers reading this, the care you give day in, day out may be invisible to the world, but it’s deeply valuable. And your love and commitment make a profound difference in someone’s life.
But you are not just a carer. You are a human being who deserves rest, joy, health, and moments of peace.
This National Wellness Month, let’s make your wellness a priority. Say 'yes' to small acts of self-kindness, to leaning on others, and to remembering that your wellbeing is not a luxury, t’s a foundation. Because when you care for yourself, you have more to give.
As the advert says: "You’re worth it". Always.
If you do one thing today, make it something that nurtures your own wellbeing. You deserve the same care and compassion that you so freely give to others.
And if you know another unpaid carer, perhaps share this article with them. We all need a reminder sometimes that our own well-being matters too.
Resources for Carers:
- Carers UK – Support, advice, and community
- Mind UK – Mental health resources
- NHS Carers Direct – Health and wellbeing support
- Local councils and charities often provide respite care and financial guidance; reach out