Midlife can be a time of change and competing responsibilities.  Balancing work, health, and caring can be overwhelming.

As well as balancing work and domestic responsibilities, women may be caring for young children, teenagers, grandchildren, ageing parents, or a partner.

It can be difficult to look after your own health and wellbeing when you care for someone else, especially when you're experiencing shifts and changes.

Menopause Awareness Month in October raises awareness about menopause and its impact on women's lives. It aims to educate us about the physical, emotional, and psychological changes, promote understanding, and support those of us going through this natural stage of life.

The Challenge: Menopause and Carer Stress Look Alike

The menopause can be an incredibly difficult time with significant psychological and physical impact. Most women will experience some symptoms of menopause. Some experience few or none, while for others, symptoms can be severe and significantly affect everyday life, including caring for a loved one. It is important to recognise whether menopause is affecting our mental health and seek support.

Midlife and later life can also bring new caring responsibilities. According to Carers UK, 59% of unpaid carers are women.

Here is the real challenge: menopause and caring can produce very similar symptoms.

Carers may already be familiar with fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, and muscle tension. Caring and menopause can create overlapping experiences, including poor sleep, fatigue, anxiety, low mood and weight changes.

When fluctuating hormones meet the challenges of caring for a loved one, feelings such as irritability, confusion, low mood and fatigue may become more difficult to manage.

Research from the Journal of Women's Health has found an association between caring for 15 or more hours a week and having moderate or worse menopause symptoms. Because the symptoms can overlap, you may dismiss what you're feeling as carer stress or burnout. Sometimes, your symptoms may also be attributed to the pressures of caring. That is why recognising menopause when it happens is so important.

Recognising Perimenopause While You Care

For many women, one of the first signs of perimenopause is a change in their usual period pattern. Periods may become lighter, heavier, more frequent or less frequent before eventually stopping.

Some women start experiencing symptoms such as migraines, irritability and low mood, especially around their period time, without seeing irregularity in periods.

Common symptoms include:

• hot flushes
• change to periods
• brain fog and memory issues
• difficulty sleeping
• night sweats
• fatigue
• anxiety or low mood
• joint aches
• weight gain

These symptoms can increase the stress of caring. Our physical and mental health are closely connected, so physical symptoms can affect how we feel emotionally too.

It can be challenging to look after our own health when we care for someone else, especially during shifts and changes ourselves.

Practical Tips for Managing Symptoms

There are some simple things you can do at home, one step at a time, to help relieve menopause symptoms.

Physical comfort

• Regular exercise or yoga can help manage hot flushes and mood swings.
• Keep a fan or ice pack handy to cool down during hot flushes.
• Wear loose, breathable clothing to avoid discomfort and night sweats.
• Take a relaxing bath with Epsom salts to ease muscle aches and soothe your skin.

Mental wellbeing

• Practice deep breathing or meditation to reduce stress and anxiety.
• Stay hydrated by keeping water to hand during the day and on your bedside table.
• Keep a diary or journal to identify triggers linked to symptoms.
• Avoid triggers like caffeine, alcohol, and spicy foods that can worsen symptoms.

Support

Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to manage emotional changes.

• Find your support network; talk with good friends often, or join a Menopause Cafe to meet others who understand.
• It can also help to explain to those around you what you're experiencing, so they understand and know how they can help.
• There are treatments that may help. You do not have to keep feeling this way. If you have symptoms, speak to your GP or visit a local menopause clinic.

Where to Find Help

Your GP is the best person to speak to, or you could find a local menopause clinic through the British Menopause Society.

Menopause Matters provides information about symptoms and treatment options.

The Menopause Charity and International Menopause Society can offer sources of help and support.

The NHS has a more detailed list of menopause and perimenopause symptoms.

Carers Trust also has useful information for carers experiencing menopause.

Taking Care of Yourself While You Care

If you are reading this while caring for someone else and wondering whether what you are experiencing is just caring or something more, your feelings matter. Those late-night worries and foggy mornings matter too. So does how you are feeling.

Compassion starts with yourself.

We live in a world that often expects women to simply endure, juggling endlessly, putting everyone else first, carrying on without complaint. But menopause is not weakness, and needing support is not failure. Many women are walking this path alongside you.

You might be caring for an ageing parent while managing hot flushes yourself. Supporting a grandchild through school while battling sleepless nights. Looking after a partner whose needs have grown as yours feel harder to meet. You are not alone.

Your GP, local menopause clinics, support groups through Carers UK, therapists, and people at a Menopause Cafe can listen and help. None of these resources are signs you are falling short. They are ways of meeting yourself with the care you give so readily to others.

If today feels overwhelming, try just one thing.

• Place your hand on your heart and acknowledge one difficulty you are carrying.
• Write down one boundary you could set this week.
• Book that appointment you have been putting off.
• Reach out to one person who understands what it means to balance caring with this transition.

You have spent years caring for others. Now extend some of that same kindness to yourself. The people you love need you well, with your own needs met and limits respected. Meeting yours is not selfish. It is practical.

October is Menopause Awareness Month, yet every day offers a chance to acknowledge the reality of midlife and unpaid caregiving. Every conversation that breaks the silence and every moment of care for yourself matters.

To the women reading this while tired, confused, overwhelmed, or simply trying to find the words, you are seen. You deserve support. Look after yourselves. Those who depend on you need you well.