Eating Disorders Awareness Week offers us a chance to reflect not only on the people living with eating disorders, but also on the carers and families who support them — often quietly, and at great personal cost.
The impact of caring can touch every part of life: physical health, emotional wellbeing, work, finances and relationships. Many carers I work with come to counselling feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and unsure where to turn for support.
I remember working with a mother whose child was being treated in a hospital more than 50 miles away. By the time we began working together, her daughter had already spent many months in treatment. The cost of visiting wasn't only being paid in terms of treatment, petrol and parking; she also had to take unpaid time off work.
Over time, the regular relapses took their toll. This mother was physically and emotionally exhausted. Her daughter’s illness was affecting family life, friendships, her ability to maintain her career and her own wellbeing. Like many carers, she was doing everything she could — and still feeling worn down.
Beyond the stereotypes: the reality of eating disorders for carers and families
When people think about eating disorders, they often picture an underweight teenage girl. In reality, eating disorders affect people of all ages, genders, backgrounds and circumstances.
At least 1.25 million people in the UK are living with an eating disorder — more than 1 in 50 people. While anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa are the most widely recognised, there are many different eating disorders, all of which can have a profound impact not only on individuals, but also on the people who care for them.
Misunderstandings about who is affected — and how eating disorders present — can increase the stigma. This can make it harder for carers to talk openly about what is happening, or to seek support for themselves.
The hidden emotional and psychological burden on carers
Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions. They are rarely about food alone, and are often linked to deeper emotional distress or coping strategies. It's also common for eating disorders to exist alongside other mental health difficulties.
This complexity may help explain why research suggests that carers supporting someone with an eating disorder often experience high levels of anxiety, depression and emotional strain. Many carers feel under constant pressure — trying to support recovery while managing their own fear, worry and exhaustion.
The ripple effect of eating disorders on families and loved ones
There are around 7 million carers in the UK, and around 1.5 million of them care for someone with mental health difficulties.
Caring for a child or loved one with an eating disorder can have a significant impact on the whole household. Daily routines may become disrupted. Financial pressures can build. Treatment often requires a high level of involvement from family members. And recovery is rarely straightforward: progress can feel slow, with setbacks along the way.
Friends and family may feel helpless and heartbroken as they watch someone they love struggle — especially knowing that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses. Over time, carers can become isolated, overwhelmed, and emotionally drained. Their own physical and mental health may begin to suffer.
What you might be feeling as a carer
If you are supporting someone with an eating disorder, you may recognise some of these feelings:
- dreading mealtimes
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doubting your ability to cope or manage
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feeling that the illness has taken over your life too
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wanting to 'fix' things and make the eating disorder go away
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feeling distressed by the physical or psychological changes you see
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fearing that the challenges will continue long-term
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losing hope that change is possible.
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These thoughts and emotions are not signs of failure. They are common, human reactions to a very difficult situation.
You’re not alone: support and hope for carers
It is normal to feel hopeful on some days and less hopeful on others. Many carers describe feeling pulled between determination and despair — sometimes within the same day.
You are not alone in this. And while it may not always feel believable, recovery from an eating disorder is possible.
Support for carers matters too, not only for your loved one’s recovery, but for your own wellbeing.
Caring for yourself while supporting someone with an eating disorder
When you're focused on someone else’s needs, it can be easy to put your own aside. But caring without rest or support can take a real toll.
Caring can affect family life, work, and finances, physical health and emotional wellbeing.
The exhaustion that comes with long-term or intense caring is real. Carer stress is more common when people don’t have breaks, space to talk, or access to support networks.
Taking time for yourself, or seeking support, is not selfish — it is necessary.
Support and counselling for carers
There are organisations that offer practical help and connection with others who understand.
POD is an e-learning platform and online community for carers, providing resources and peer support: https://elearn.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
If you need more personal support, counselling can offer carers a safe, confidential space to talk openly and explore whatever they are facing, at their own pace.
If you’d like to know more about how counselling works, or how I can help, you’re very welcome to get in touch.
I offer an initial counselling consultation where we can gently explore what you’re carrying and whether working together feels right for you. I won’t offer quick fixes or tell you what to do. Instead, I’ll work alongside you to help you understand what’s happening in your life and find ways forward that feel manageable and supportive.
You don’t have to face everything at once — and you don’t have to face it alone.
I have also created a handy guide that you can print and use: Eating Disorders – A Self-Care Guide for Carers