Today is 'Time To Talk Day'. It's a day when we all talk about mental health and feelings. But today I want to talk to YOU. Yes, you - the person who looks after someone else every single week, every single day.
Why Carers Need to Talk About Their Mental Health
Every day, you help someone you care about. You might help them wash, eat, take medicine. You might help them to feel less isolated or to just feel safe. You do this because you love them. And that makes you pretty special.
Taking on the role of carer for a loved one can be rewarding. But it can also be tough. Along with the practical responsibilities, you may experience a whole rollercoaster of emotions.
Caring for someone you love can stir up a wide range of feelings. And here's something important: your feelings matter.
It's OK for Carers to Feel Tired
Sometimes caring for someone can make you feel really tired. Not just lack of sleep tired, but tired in your heart, soul and mind. This is normal. You're not a bad person for feeling this way. Carer burnout is a recognised state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion caused by the stress and challenges of caring for a loved one
You might feel:
- sad sometimes
- worried about lots of things
- frustrated when faced with difficult decisions or at the lack of social or practical support
- overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious
- guilt over not doing 'enough'
- angry (and that's OK too)
- very, very tired.
All of these feelings are normal. Many other carers feel the same way.
Finding Support: You Don't Have to Care Alone
Caring for someone can feel isolating and lonely. You might think no one understands what your life is like. But you are not alone - you're one of the UK's 5.8 million unpaid carers. Other people care for family members or friends and they know how you feel.
Support groups – online or in-person - can help reduce feelings of isolation as well as offer practical tips.
Self-Care for Carers Isn't Selfish
Sometimes carers feel they are being selfish if they think about their own needs. This is not true. Caring for others is often demanding, both physically and mentally. The better you look after yourself, the better you can look after the person you care for.
Think of it like this: if you were so run down that you got very sick, you couldn't help anyone. So keeping yourself well is actually helping them too.
Small Steps to Better Mental Health for Carers
Here are some easy things you can try.
Take tiny breaks. Respite care offers you the opportunity to take a temporary break and focus on your own mental health and wellbeing. Making time for yourself and doing something you enjoy is important. Even five minutes sitting with a cup of tea or stepping outside for fresh air helps you recover.
Be kind to yourself. You would be kind to a friend who felt tired or low. Be as kind as that to yourself. Remember that you are trying your best.
Ask for help. Don't be afraid to delegate responsibilities to other family members or friends. This is not giving up. This does not mean you have failed. Sharing the burden is being smart: looking after your wellbeing directly influences the quality of care you can give. Even asking someone to sit with your loved one for an hour, so you can have a rest or engage in a hobby, helps.
Talk to someone you trust. This could be a friend, family member, or maybe a carers group. Don't underestimate the value of a friendly chat and the positive impact it has on your wellbeing. Just saying how you feel out loud can help.
Where Carers Can Get Support and Talk
If you want to talk to someone, here are some ideas:
- your doctor
- a friend or family member
- other carers in your area
- carers' groups (many happen online now)
- phone lines for carers who need to talk
A Message for Every Carer on Time to Talk Day
I recognise how hard you work every day. I hear how much you care. I see that you put someone else's needs before your own most of the time.
You're doing an incredible job, even on the days when it doesn't feel like it.
But remember: your health matters; your feelings are important; you deserve support and kindness too.
Today, on Time To Talk Day, I want you to know that it's OK to talk about how YOU feel. You don't have to be strong all of the time. You don't always have to have all the answers.
You just have to be human. That's enough.
Take One Small Step Today
Take care of yourself today. You deserve it. You count. Small steps count.
Could you try one small thing today? Maybe text a friend and tell them you're thinking of them. Or go for a coffee with a neighbour. Or tell someone - anyone - one thing about how you're feeling.
Need Someone Who Understands?
If you're worried about your mental health or struggling with your caring role, please reach out. You don't have to carry everything alone. Help is always available.
You can talk to your doctor or call a helpline.
Sometimes talking to someone who truly understands the caring journey can make all the difference. I've been working alongside carers just like you for more than two decades.
I understand the unique challenges you face. That is why I set up Caring Counselling Worthing,
Get in touch today to find out how I can support you. Visit: www.caringcounsellingworthing.co.uk
You matter, and you deserve support that understands your world.