Why Sleep Matters for Carers

Getting enough sleep is important - not only so you can continue to support and help your loved one, but also for your own mental health and happiness.

The Christmas period can be disruptive: it challenges many of our routines, including sleep. And routine is the key to good sleep. Our body is like a clock and works best when we follow the same routine each day.

So, after the excitement and stress of the festive season, prioritising better rest in the new year can help protect our health and wellbeing at a time when seasonal illnesses are still threatening.

Sleep Is Essential for Health and Well-being

Sleep is as essential for us as food and water. It's important for our health, happiness, and overall productivity. Without sufficient, good-quality sleep, our bodies and brains can't work as well as they should. Our ability to concentrate and our physical health can suffer.

While we sleep, our bodies and minds recharge and prepare for the next day. Our brains have a good clear out of the information we don't need. Our bodies work to repair muscle, organs, and other cells. Our memories form, and our immune system starts to circulate in our blood.

If you're not getting enough sleep or your sleep quality suffers, you'll probably know it - just from how you feel.

Common Sleep Problems When Caring

For many people, like my husband, falling asleep is simply a matter of getting comfortable, closing their eyes and drifting off. But over the last 20 years, I have worked with many carers who struggle with sleep.

Worry keeps you awake. Some carers find it hard to drop off because they are lying awake worrying. They might be worried about the health of the person they care for, or their own health. They might be worried about the financial situation they find themselves in, perhaps because they have had to give up work. Or they are worried about work and not being able to do their job, and care fr their loved one, as well as they want to. This can become a difficult cycle, with worrying making it very hard to sleep.
Disrupted nights are common. Other carers have disturbed sleep because they are called on multiple times during the night. And while they may tell themselves they should be able to cope with this, many carers aren't as young as they were when their young baby woke them regularly for night feeds.

The Impact of Poor Sleep on Carers

While everyone will experience the occasional bad night, which affects their ability to concentrate the next day, if you're regularly struggling to sleep, then everything will seem harder to deal with. When you feel constantly tired, the emotional and physical demands of caring can feel even tougher.

You might have trouble making decisions or focusing, which can impact your ability to provide the level of care you intend to give. A long-term lack of sleep can lead to burnout. And it may also increase your risk of developing high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, dementia, and depression.

If this sounds familiar, please know that there are things that can help.

Practical Sleep Tips for Carers

There are a number of things you can try to improve your sleep.

Before Bedtime

Watch what you eat and drink. Avoid eating big meals or drinking too much alcohol close to bedtime. Cut down on caffeinated drinks in the evening, such as tea and coffee. One of the best drinks you can have at any time of the day, including before bed, is water. Calming options like hot chocolate, malted milk drinks, or herbal teas are also good pre-bedtime drinks.
Create a wind-down routine. Spend some time unwinding before bed. Try activities that help you feel calm—a warm bath, listening to podcasts, or reading can all work well. Experiment with different relaxation techniques to find what suits you. Complementary therapies such as massage or aromatherapy can be a good way to ease tension as well as being a nice way to pamper yourself.
Write down your worries. Before you go to bed, write down any concerns you have that might keep you awake, and keep a notepad by your bed. That way, if you're thinking about something, you can scribble it down so you don't have to try and remember it. And you'll be able to deal with it the next day, when you feel more refreshed and alert.
Get your bedroom ready for sleep. The ideal sleep environment is different for everyone, but it needs to be completely dark. Make sure your bedroom is a comfortable, calm and relaxing space that is not too hot, too cold or noisy.

Building Better Sleep Habits

Reduce screen time before bed. Avoid bright lights or having a tablet, computer or TV in your bedroom as they will only encourage you to stay awake and alert. Avoid 'screen time' before bedtime too, as their lights can disrupt your body's natural sleep-wake functions (the blue light inhibits the development of the sleepy hormone we need to drift off).
Keep your bedroom for sleep only. Our brain uses that sense of place in subtle ways that can affect how well you sleep. Try to use your bedroom just for sleep and rest, not for work or watching TV.
Stick to a regular sleep schedule. Try to keep a regular pattern of going to bed and rising at the same time every day. But don't go to bed unless you feel sleepy. If it's bedtime and you don't feel drowsy, do something to help you wind down and relax, especially activities associated with your bedtime routine, like reading.
Exercise regularly. Take regular exercise, but try not to do this too close to bedtime. And don't stress about it - light, physical exercise of 10 minutes in the morning or afternoon may be enough to help.

If You Can't Fall Asleep

I don't know about you, but I find that the longer I lie in bed trying to fall back to sleep, the more frustrated I get.

Staying in bed when we are wide awake leads to associating bed with stress and anxiety. Don't fight it. If you still cannot sleep, don't lie there worrying - focus on helping your body to relax. Use deep breathing or guided meditation to ease an overactive mind.

And if your mind won't stop racing, get up and do something you find relaxing, like reading or listening to quiet music. After a while, you may feel tired enough to go to bed again.

Understanding Sleep Patterns: It's OK to Wake During the Night

Waking in the middle of the night can lead us to panic. But getting all of your sleep at once isn't a strict rule. Sleep customs commonly vary by culture and historical period.

Many of us will have heard about the Spanish 'siesta', and research shows that people in Western societies used to sleep in two phases. Up until the Industrial Revolution, and the prevalence of artificial light, most people went to bed at around 9 or 10 pm, slept for 3 to 4 hours ('first sleep'), woke for an hour or so before settling down again to sleep until dawn. So it may be that there is no need to worry about sleep patterns.

However, if your lack of sleep is becoming too much, speak to your GP, especially if you are suffering from stress, anxiety or any physical illness or pain. It could be that an undiagnosed health issue is affecting your quality of sleep, and your doctor could offer recommendations of services to help.

Getting Support

Talk to someone. It may be helpful to talk with supportive family members or friends about how you are feeling. Even if they are unable to change anything, knowing that they care and understand what you're going through could help.
Professional support. Contact a counsellor or support service (such as The Sleep Charity’s sleep hub or the Carers Trust). Knowing that someone is taking your concerns seriously can make a big difference to your peace of mind, and talking through your worries can really help.

Key Takeaways for Better Sleep

Establish a consistent bedtime routine
Create a comfortable sleep environment
Manage worries before bedtime
Don't stay in bed if you can't sleep
Seek support when you need it
Remember: poor sleep is common among carers, and help is available